Dating while Divorcing

Should you date while going through a divorce?

A divorce can be more traumatic than the death of a spouse. It is common advice to not make major decisions for at least six months after a trauma. With the death of a spouse, the emotional side of the relationship hopefully ended on good terms. In a divorce, however, the relationship usually ends on negative terms reinforced continuously by the presence of an ex constantly pushing your buttons.

Seeking to fill an emotional void with a new boyfriend or girlfriend usually does not create a solid foundation from which to establish a healthy relationship. A fragile emotional state is not conducive to the establishment of a new relationship -- especially while the immediate past relationship is still unraveling financially or for custody purposes.

I have seen a circumstance where the contested custody matter has gotten ugly my client with new paramour were trying to schedule their wedding based upon when the final court date was. In this particular circumstance new boyfriend moved into the wife’s home on the same day that we had a court hearing for the wife’s exclusive possession of the marital home -- husband moved out that morning and boyfriend moved in that afternoon. The “honeymoon” phase of a hurried relationship can actually last longer than the honeymoon phase based from a relationship with a more solid foundation. The commonality shared is the loss, damage, arguments, and emotional instability experienced by the divorcing spouse. A relationship built during fighting over a divorce may not exist on a solid foundation. Do your best to resist attempting to fill an emotional void with a quick new girlfriend or boyfriend since it clouds your judgment and misdirects your focus.